


Miss-Communications

by PoorUnfortunateSoul



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Character, Agender Sugawara Koushi, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys in Skirts, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Trans Character, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 03:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6179188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoorUnfortunateSoul/pseuds/PoorUnfortunateSoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi wanted to be a girl. Tsukishima picked it up from the subtle hints that he’s been dropping all night. Tsukishima has always made a point to not give Yamaguchi what he wants if he’s not mature enough to ask for it.</p><p>This though? Tsukishima could never refuse Yamaguchi this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miss-Communications

Tsukishima has always considered himself to be a mediocre friend to Yamaguchi. There when he needs him, but never going out of his way to do something nice for him if he doesn’t ask. He especially avoided doing nice things for him when he skirted around what it was that he wanted.

Sure, Tsukishima quickly caught on to the not-so-subtle hints Yamaguchi would drop, but if he wasn’t mature enough to ask for what he wants, Tsukishima refused to give it to him. This though? Tsukishima knew he had to make an exception for this.

He hadn’t thought much of it when Yamaguchi scurried off to the female section of the store. It wasn’t much of a secret that he got bored of the boy’s section; it didn’t have as many styles or quirky sayings on their shirts that the girl’s section had.

What had been new, though, was the way Yamaguchi blushed as he rushed past, skirts and dresses in hand, straight for the girl’s changing area. If it weren’t for the blush, or the fact that the boy’s changing area had been entirely empty, Tsukishima might’ve been able to wave the whole thing away as a joke.

But the blush had been there, and the only other people in the store are the few yawning employees, who are clearly waiting for them to leave so they can close up.

Tsukishima knows more than anyone how hard it can be to come out to your best friend. Even if he hadn’t expected the giant grin and shout of “It’s okay, Tsukki, me too!” he should’ve known that Yamaguchi wouldn’t not want to be his friend anymore.

But he still hadn’t been prepared. He’d shook where he stood, clenched every muscle so it would seem like he wasn’t, and grit his teeth; he’d waited to be yelled at, but it never came. Instead, Yamaguchi had given him a shoulder squeeze that he pretended to hate and, a giant smile, and the reassurance that it was fine.

Yamaguchi wanted to be a girl. Tsukishima picked it up from the subtle hints that he’s been dropping all night. Tsukishima has always made a point to not give Yamaguchi what he wants if he’s not mature enough to ask for it.

This though? Tsukishima could never refuse Yamaguchi this.

XXXXX

Tsukishima has always considered himself to be a mediocre friend to Yamaguchi. He never tried to be anything more.

Not that it even mattered, since it didn’t seem like Yamaguchi was going anywhere soon. He hadn’t even been offended when Tsukishima suddenly made himself scarce after realizing that what he felt for Yamaguchi went well past friendship.

In hindsight, maybe that didn’t mean much. It’d taken Tsukishima about three days to realize that, for once, he was being the immature one, and went right back to spending all of his time with Yamaguchi, weird heart poundings be damned.

He knew he no one would ever consider him to be a very good friend, especially not to Yamaguchi; especially not to the person who deserved his friendship the most.

Despite what little is expected of him friendship wise, Tsukishima knew that he couldn’t afford to be a mediocre friend when it came to something like this. He didn’t know the whole story, since it happened before he was a first year, but he knew that at some point Suga had spent time in the hospital due to gender related things. Tsukishima would do anything in his power to make sure that Yamaguchi never ended up like that.

That’s how he ended up waiting around in the club room for everyone to leave, even waving Yamaguchi off with a small ‘tch’ noise, which always seemed to do the trick. He’d looked at Tsukishima with some concern, but he still left.

Suga seemed to pick up on the fact that Tsukishima wanted to talk to them, because they’d waved off Daichi in a similar – but much more polite – manner.

Tsukishima hovered in the corner until everyone but they had left. He approached Suga with an air uncertainty following behind him.

Sugawara smiled up at him in that motherly way of theirs.

“Hey,” they chirped happily, standing up.

“… Hey.”

Suga smiled again, patiently waiting for Tsukishima to get his bearings. He slowly talked himself out of it, and just when he was about to tell Suga never mind, he spotted the scars littered across Suga’s right arm.

They seemed to notice where Tsukishima was looking, because worry instantly etched its way onto their features.

“How did you know you were agender?” Tsukishima asked slowly.

They blinked in surprise.

“Oh. Um. I guess I kind of knew because being called ‘he’ always made me feel uncomfortable. And ‘she’ didn’t exactly feel right either. I thought I was nothing, and for a while I thought it was just my depression talking, but I guess it was just because I didn’t really feel like I was a boy, or a girl… Sorry,” they said, sheepishly rubbing the back of their neck, “I guess that doesn’t really make much sense.”

Tsukishima nodded thoughtfully. Suga dropped their arm back to their side.

“Are you…?” they asked.

“No,” Tsukishima said immediately, “No, I’m a boy. It’s just… if I told you, would you promise to not tell anyone else?”

Suga smiled, gently this time. It was a stupid question, really; of course Suga wouldn’t tell anyone if he asked them not to.

Well, besides Daichi, anyways. They tell Daichi everything. Past that, though, no one will know.

Suga sits down on the floor and pats a spot next to them. Reluctantly, Tsukishima sits next to them.

“… I think Yamaguchi wants to be a girl,” he says, faking an uninterested tone that Suga sees right through.

They nod slowly.

“Okay… And why do you think that?” they ask, flexing their feet.

Tsukishima sighs and tries to think back to his last mall trip with Yamaguchi.

“We went to the mall. He kept looking at the girl’s clothes, which for him, isn’t all that unexpected. He loves those stupid puns they have on them in Rue 21.  
But this time… It was different. He completely left me, which in itself is weird. Even when he wants to look at the girl’s shirts he brings me with him.  
He’s unapologetic about it, always. He’s never cared if everyone knew he was wearing a girl’s shirt or a little make-up to hide a zit or whatever.  
So, that was weird. Other than that, it wasn’t just the shirts he looked at this time. He ran off, to the girl’s dressing room – the boy’s one was empty, by the way; so it’s not like he just didn’t want the other boy’s that were changing to see him – with a bunch of skirts and dresses. He never bought them, though.”

Suga nodded thoughtfully, though they looked a bit shocked. Whether it was because Tsukishima had been right, or because he never talks this much, though, is a mystery.

“I think those are some pretty good reasons to believe that Yamaguchi may be a girl. Were you looking for someone to confirm your theory, or was there something else you wanted?” Suga asked, ready to listen to more, and un-judgmental.

Tsukishima ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m not a good friend,” he said, rushing forward when Suga went to argue, “I know I’m not. No one’s had to tell me that I’m not. It’s not like I try to be. But this… I don’t think I can continue not to try when it comes to this. I don’t want him to end up like…”

Suga’s smile turned sad when the ‘like you’ hangs in the air. Tsukishima swallowed thickly and looked at the scars on Suga’s arm again.

Suga rested their hand on Tsukishima’s shoulder and gave a small squeeze.

“I think you’ll have to ask Daichi about that one. He was probably the most supportive person when I first came out. He was probably a little too supportive,” Suga said with a fond smirk. Tsukishima decided quickly that he didn’t want to know what that meant, exactly. “Until she actually comes out, maybe try dropping hints that it’s okay, and that she’s safe. That’s the best thing you can do right now.”

Tsukishima nodded, amazed by how quickly Suga switched pronouns for Yamaguchi. He wondered why he never thought to do that. Stupid.

They leave the clubroom after that, and Tsukishima would be lying if he said that he was surprised to see Yamaguchi still waiting around for him outside. Suga smiled when they saw her, and leaned in to Tsukishima.

“You must be a pretty decent friend for her to wait around in the cold for you like this.”

Tsukishima looked at where he could make out Yamaguchi’s figure in the blowing snow.

No, he thought, Yamaguchi is just an extraordinary person.

XXXXXX  
It takes a long time for Tsukishima to finally ask Daichi how he supported Suga so well. A lot of the information hadn’t been helpful, as it appeared as though Suga and Daichi had been a thing for a lot longer than he’d expected.

It wasn’t like he could run up and kiss Yamaguchi to distract her every time she looked sad (though he really wished that he could) or kiss every inch of her body and worship her like she was a goddess (which is an image of Suga and Daichi that he’d very much like to leave his head.)

The best he could do was hug her when she looked sad, and the first time he’d done it hadn’t gone over well. She’d completely freaked out and demanded to know what was wrong with Tsukishima, and he’d bullshitted his way through the whole ideal, because if there was one piece of crucial information that he’d learned from Daichi, it was that he couldn’t under any circumstances make Yamaguchi feel like he was forcing her to come out. She had to do that one on her own.

And, God, did Tsukishima wish she would. He’d never experience second-hand pain or frustration from someone else, and he wished it would’ve stayed that way, but it hadn’t.

He’s found himself cringing every time someone calls Yamaguchi a boy, and getting angry every time someone doesn’t correct themselves. Which is always, because he, Suga and Daichi are the only ones who know.

Well, they were, until Tsukishima got tired of waiting. When Yamaguchi’s sixteenth birthday rolled around, Suga and Tsukishima let the whole team know what was up on a day that Yamaguchi wasn’t at practice due to an illness.

That’s how Tsukishima ended up sitting next to a still sniffling Yamaguchi, as she peered down at everyone’s gifts of skirts and dresses and make-up.

Tsukishima looked at her with pride that quickly evaporated when he saw that Yamaguchi was crying. And not the good time.

"Yamaguchi?” he said.

He meant for it to come out gently, but it came out monotone and blunt, like always. Yamaguchi flinched but still met his eyes with pain in hers.

“I know I don’t play well,” Yamaguchi said, wiping the snot dripping from her nose with the edge of her sleeve. If she wasn’t crying, Tsukishima might’ve yelled at her for wiping it on a sweatshirt that no doubt belonged to him.

“But I thought you guys didn’t care. You always tell me that it doesn’t matter and that I’ll get better, but then you do this and I just… If this your way of telling me that I play like a girl then it’s not funny! It hurts, and, and, I can’t believe…  
I never thought you would… well, you would, because you’re so, so mean, Tsukki, but I didn’t think you’d do something like this to me… How did you even get Yachi and Kiyoko to agree to this? Surely they must’ve tried to stop you… or… no, I got the make-up from Yachi, so…”

After that, Yamaguchi is reduced to just pitiful sobs and painful choking noises. Tsukishima tried one of the coping tips that Daichi taught him, and wrapped his arms around her stiffly, but all she did was squeak and opt to sit on the floor instead.

‘If this is your way of telling me that I play like a girl’ circled around and around in Tsukishima’s head, and he knew that he has to do some quick damage control.

“There’s nothing wrong with playing like a girl,” he said, watching Yamaguchi as she looks up at him in confusion. “A lot of people will argue that Caitlyn Jenner is the best athlete to live. And Laverne Cox could probably kick my ass, and I’d let her. I mean, that’s kind of besides the-“

“Wait,” Yamaguchi stopped him, raising one of her hands in the air. “Tsukki, do… Do you think I’m trans?”

“Huh? Yes?” Tsukishima said, like it should be obvious.

Yamaguchi tilted her head.

“I… why?”

“You tried on skirts when we last went shopping,” Tsukishima muttered, “In the girl’s changing area. The boy’s one was free.”

Yamaguchi stared at him for a few seconds before it clicked.

“Oh. Oh. Tsukki, I… I’m not trans, Tsukki. I went into the girl’s changing room because I didn’t want you to see me,” he said with a blush. “I just like how the skirts and dresses feel and look on me, is all.”

Yamaguchi crossed his arms and rubbed his shoulder self-consciously.

“… You should’ve told me that, dumbass,” Tsukishima said with a calm sort of anger.

Yamaguchi laughed watery as he touches the pile of gifts with a gentle kind of appreciation that he hadn’t been showing it a few seconds before hand.

“You mean, if I was, you would all support me this much?” he asked.

Tsukishima made a ‘tch’ noise and Yamaguchi laughed again.

“You would support me this much, Tsukki?” he asked.

Tsukishima looked away from the adoration clearly displayed on Yamaguchi’s face, and nodded stiffly.

“Thank you, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi yelled, jumping back up on the couch and squeezing Tsukishima in a hug.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima hissed, trying to push Yamaguchi away.

Yamaguchi smirked at him.

“Make me.”

He pursed his lips, and Tsukishima placed his hand over his mouth. Yamaguchi blinked at him in surprise, before raising an eyebrow.

“…What?” he asked.

Yamaguchi didn’t answer, but decided to kiss the center of Tsukishima’s palm instead.

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first fan-fiction I've ever written, so I hope it's okay??? I don't know.
> 
> Critiques are very much welcome! 
> 
> Any requests - as this is what this one is bc my little sister wanted it - will be taken here:  
> [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/xxpoorunfortunatesoulxx)


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